Creating a political party is very engaging. all that I do is get in touch with people, talk and talk, then review what we talked about, jot down notes, plan for next moves.
It's far different from creating a film. With filmmaking, my mind goes broad, goes deep, rixe to high heavens, and descend to the depths of the ocean. It is mind-blowing. Yet, if I make a political film, then it becomes doubly mind-boggling. I have to think of how to symbolize all those politcial principles that I know.
When living in a country that always makes eating a precious act, that reading and writing seem useless because one has to earn a living in order to eat, that makes having children a very expensive preoccupation, then being creative becomes a real luxury. It is a luxury when it is not directed to authorities who could change the status quo. It is a luxury when the content and form are not understandable as expressions of angst, of anger, of pain and disgust over the state of things.
Could anyone sustain one's idealism in the face of these events occurring now in my country, the long queues of families for rice at barangay halls; the despairing looks of jeepney drivers who can hardly buy fuel to drive their vehicles while having to shell out cash to policemen just standing by and waiting for the kotong to be placed on their palms by their gofers; the media barrage of scandals unearthed daily running into hundreds of millions of pesos going into the pockets of highest officials of the land. Is there no end to these evil acts in our midst? And worse that, the military soldiers who rebelled against election cheating are meted harsh punishments.
Pray that executive privilege is given a negative rating by Supreme Court justices as no unethical presidential and governmental practices should ever be allowed exist in the country.
No, we should not lose our dreams of a better country, a better world. We should not lose our dreams of having a nurturing society. We at PPP will have our slogan: If we rule this country, no infant, no child shall get sick, go hungry, be out of school, and most of all die. No, no one.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Escape through French
I am so glad to have found my blog again. I miss writing on it for months. My mind has been shifting from life on earth and the afterlife where my mother has gone, and my stepfather too. It's emotionally draining and sometimes or most of the time I have to contain myself so as not to feel depressed the whole day.
What is the importance of blogging in my country the Philippiens? It is a space for release of our angst over rising prices of rice, over kotongan of police from Recto to Divisoria; celfone calls that drop or get cut off because the person I am calling up is a community leader in Smokey Mountain, and that would mean a "subversive" activity, etc. etc.
Is there a perfect country Folks? It is true people say everywhere there are problems. So what do I do now? I am learning how to speak and write French by myself. I've got three books -- one for lessons; another for verb conjugation and third, a dic. wow, every morning and before retiring I look them up. I have even written some quotations for me to remember and read while lying on my bed like Comment da nouveau or what's new, and Quel dommage or what a pity. Do you know that i could also compose a sentence like Je ne vous saime. Now guess what that means. Of course you must have heard of that cuss word which begins with M, which I use for asking a friend in absencia, Combien epause? Une, deux, trois, quatre, MMMMMM.
When I go to my French lessons, I cannot help but remember the Fall of Bastille. Memories of my trip to Paris, France way back in 1981 come rushing, when I spent the 14th of July there. On that day, I wanted to drink a bottle of beer in a restaurant fronting the sculpture of the Bastille in the city. But a bottle cost more if drank there about 14 francs, whereas drank outside it would only cost 9 francs. What did I do? Guess. Well I bought one and then sat by a bench beside the sculpture and drank it to my heart's content, remembering Victor Hugo's Les Miserables and the Jean Paul Marat in the Persecution and Assassination of Jean Paul Marat as performed by the Inmates of Charenton under the Direction of the Marquis de Sade, a play by Peter Brooks. Then I also remembered Claude Debussy and Claire de la Lune and La Mer.
Images of Jean Cocteau, Jean Genet and Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir parade in my mind. Feminisme Francaise. How many other intellectuals do I feel happy about remembering?
But as my mind went back to the Philippines then, which was under martial law, the perpetual rule of the Marcoses, I felt depressed again. But did not feel that so much because beer has a way of easing up the nerves. And so I laughed and laughed for my presence then in Europe and having that freedom to experience thinking, speaking and writing freely in the democratic continent, albeit half aristocratic in culture.
Vive Le France! Vive les Philippines!
What is the importance of blogging in my country the Philippiens? It is a space for release of our angst over rising prices of rice, over kotongan of police from Recto to Divisoria; celfone calls that drop or get cut off because the person I am calling up is a community leader in Smokey Mountain, and that would mean a "subversive" activity, etc. etc.
Is there a perfect country Folks? It is true people say everywhere there are problems. So what do I do now? I am learning how to speak and write French by myself. I've got three books -- one for lessons; another for verb conjugation and third, a dic. wow, every morning and before retiring I look them up. I have even written some quotations for me to remember and read while lying on my bed like Comment da nouveau or what's new, and Quel dommage or what a pity. Do you know that i could also compose a sentence like Je ne vous saime. Now guess what that means. Of course you must have heard of that cuss word which begins with M, which I use for asking a friend in absencia, Combien epause? Une, deux, trois, quatre, MMMMMM.
When I go to my French lessons, I cannot help but remember the Fall of Bastille. Memories of my trip to Paris, France way back in 1981 come rushing, when I spent the 14th of July there. On that day, I wanted to drink a bottle of beer in a restaurant fronting the sculpture of the Bastille in the city. But a bottle cost more if drank there about 14 francs, whereas drank outside it would only cost 9 francs. What did I do? Guess. Well I bought one and then sat by a bench beside the sculpture and drank it to my heart's content, remembering Victor Hugo's Les Miserables and the Jean Paul Marat in the Persecution and Assassination of Jean Paul Marat as performed by the Inmates of Charenton under the Direction of the Marquis de Sade, a play by Peter Brooks. Then I also remembered Claude Debussy and Claire de la Lune and La Mer.
Images of Jean Cocteau, Jean Genet and Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir parade in my mind. Feminisme Francaise. How many other intellectuals do I feel happy about remembering?
But as my mind went back to the Philippines then, which was under martial law, the perpetual rule of the Marcoses, I felt depressed again. But did not feel that so much because beer has a way of easing up the nerves. And so I laughed and laughed for my presence then in Europe and having that freedom to experience thinking, speaking and writing freely in the democratic continent, albeit half aristocratic in culture.
Vive Le France! Vive les Philippines!
Sunday, February 10, 2008
LIVING IN UNCERTAINTY
The Philippines is becoming one great uncertainty. With the Senate investigations on a national broadband project pushed by Malacanang and its cohorts, corruption entrails are coming out in great deluge from the halls. What is surprising here is that the People's Republic of China is very much involved in the deal, as the provider of the loan that will foot the project. Why is China doing that, dealing with a corrupt administration? No there has to be some kind of ethical stand on dealing with such governments that condone corruption and human rights violations.
Yet the number one witness testifying to the corruption is half-Chinese, half Filipino, Rudy Lozada, whose father always instilled in him the need to be grateful to the country as it had been to him, a father of 13 children. Lozada has explained a great deal of the methods of corruption in the government deals that it is now a great question mark how the Filipino people had been duped up to the highest levels of the State. Even the admonition of the former secretary authorized to approve the deal who got Lozada as consultant was very revealing: "Moderate their Greed."
Actually greed is worse in Pilipino -- swapang, ganid, sugapa. Those are the terms used in the country they are far worse, far apt as a label than greed which sounds very elegant and courteous.
Now the bishops have declared that a communal action in response to the revelations in the Senate be undertaken. This implies that they now are acting in unison in terms of encouraging the flock to go to the streets and express their opinions whether this administration should continue in power or not. Perhaps, the bishops are now realizing that their willy-nilly stance before regarding this administration did not and never brought out a good result as corruption worsened. Sometime in 2005 they were not united, as some bishops received donations from Malacanang to the tune of half a million during the Catholic Bishops Conference. The receiving bishops outnumbered the number of protesting bishops, so the statement that came out then was
Yet the number one witness testifying to the corruption is half-Chinese, half Filipino, Rudy Lozada, whose father always instilled in him the need to be grateful to the country as it had been to him, a father of 13 children. Lozada has explained a great deal of the methods of corruption in the government deals that it is now a great question mark how the Filipino people had been duped up to the highest levels of the State. Even the admonition of the former secretary authorized to approve the deal who got Lozada as consultant was very revealing: "Moderate their Greed."
Actually greed is worse in Pilipino -- swapang, ganid, sugapa. Those are the terms used in the country they are far worse, far apt as a label than greed which sounds very elegant and courteous.
Now the bishops have declared that a communal action in response to the revelations in the Senate be undertaken. This implies that they now are acting in unison in terms of encouraging the flock to go to the streets and express their opinions whether this administration should continue in power or not. Perhaps, the bishops are now realizing that their willy-nilly stance before regarding this administration did not and never brought out a good result as corruption worsened. Sometime in 2005 they were not united, as some bishops received donations from Malacanang to the tune of half a million during the Catholic Bishops Conference. The receiving bishops outnumbered the number of protesting bishops, so the statement that came out then was
Monday, December 10, 2007
Missing
Today, I missed going to the meeting of the Partido Pandaigdigang Pilipino, an Overseas Filipino Workers party. The choice of venue is very far from my home, and I need to come home right away because the traffic along the way gets very bad as the night deepens
Alex and Susie would have been there and many others, at Dampa a restaurant near the international airport. The place is historic -- imagine a restaurant by that site where the OFWs depart from the country to their work destinations. It is truly a great loss not being able to join them, especially the two whom I just encounter now and then writing emails under the PPP e-group
Actually, everytime I open my PPP email, I feel a burning sensation in my heart, as if I am scooping millions of bleeding hearts -- bleeding from having to uproot themselves from the land of their birth, bleeding from having to separate from their meaningful relationshis, and bleeding for being forced to take on a new hat (or brain) to serve in a foreign culture.
The Philippines is rich in natural resources, yet majority are poor and have to go abroad to support their families back home. What is lacking in our country is that push to every Filipino woman, man, or just plain Filipino human being to start a business. Why can't every bank offer good loans, no collateral without burdening the borrower with requirements like having a fat bank account? In other countries, the government provides start-up capital, but here, the only capital that is sure to make you millions is when you sink it in politics, get elected and sit in Congress to draw millions of funded projects of the government. Some officials literally take that as their fortune.
Back to the meeting. Roger has drawn up a lon list of agenda, and mine should have been the website. I am ready to share my researches on this but then certain things held me up, very personal yet affects my whole being, my roots. I simply cannot turn my back at the weak health of my mother now. I have experience her not recognizing me and mistaking me for another person. I had to concoct going out and then asking the maid to introduce me to her so that she would address me as Emma. Oh how I missed her normal moments. Last night, the 9th of December 07, she suffered from a stroke. I massaged her face and head very hard to bring back the blood on it Then, I applied virgin coconut oil with goji berry juice on her head, the palms of her hands and the soles of her feet Slowly she began talking normally again. All throughout her sleep, she kept calling her mother, "Nay, Nay" and this morning she dreamed of a woman-business partner of hers who in real life, developed a relationship with her driver. That woman had asked her to join her and her paramour to go night swimming but she demurred. By the way the woman was married to a congressman.
This afternoon, my mother asked to be bathed to feel fresh again. Ah, my mother is back on earth.
First steps to Alzheimer's disease? How many OFWs are given tips on how to deal with mental health? I hope that when their term ends abroad and they return home, their families would still be able enjoy their company, their healthy company for a long, long time.
And so to the participants at the meeting. My heart and mind go with you. I will make sure to be available next time. Emma
Alex and Susie would have been there and many others, at Dampa a restaurant near the international airport. The place is historic -- imagine a restaurant by that site where the OFWs depart from the country to their work destinations. It is truly a great loss not being able to join them, especially the two whom I just encounter now and then writing emails under the PPP e-group
Actually, everytime I open my PPP email, I feel a burning sensation in my heart, as if I am scooping millions of bleeding hearts -- bleeding from having to uproot themselves from the land of their birth, bleeding from having to separate from their meaningful relationshis, and bleeding for being forced to take on a new hat (or brain) to serve in a foreign culture.
The Philippines is rich in natural resources, yet majority are poor and have to go abroad to support their families back home. What is lacking in our country is that push to every Filipino woman, man, or just plain Filipino human being to start a business. Why can't every bank offer good loans, no collateral without burdening the borrower with requirements like having a fat bank account? In other countries, the government provides start-up capital, but here, the only capital that is sure to make you millions is when you sink it in politics, get elected and sit in Congress to draw millions of funded projects of the government. Some officials literally take that as their fortune.
Back to the meeting. Roger has drawn up a lon list of agenda, and mine should have been the website. I am ready to share my researches on this but then certain things held me up, very personal yet affects my whole being, my roots. I simply cannot turn my back at the weak health of my mother now. I have experience her not recognizing me and mistaking me for another person. I had to concoct going out and then asking the maid to introduce me to her so that she would address me as Emma. Oh how I missed her normal moments. Last night, the 9th of December 07, she suffered from a stroke. I massaged her face and head very hard to bring back the blood on it Then, I applied virgin coconut oil with goji berry juice on her head, the palms of her hands and the soles of her feet Slowly she began talking normally again. All throughout her sleep, she kept calling her mother, "Nay, Nay" and this morning she dreamed of a woman-business partner of hers who in real life, developed a relationship with her driver. That woman had asked her to join her and her paramour to go night swimming but she demurred. By the way the woman was married to a congressman.
This afternoon, my mother asked to be bathed to feel fresh again. Ah, my mother is back on earth.
First steps to Alzheimer's disease? How many OFWs are given tips on how to deal with mental health? I hope that when their term ends abroad and they return home, their families would still be able enjoy their company, their healthy company for a long, long time.
And so to the participants at the meeting. My heart and mind go with you. I will make sure to be available next time. Emma
REVIVAL
I never imagined I could ever revive my blog With so many political goings-on in my country, and then my email nearly getting lost (I changed my password last Saturday and could not access it afterwards), I was ready to give up on my communication with the outside world. Funny isn't it how a simple lost email could rouse deep anxieties and frustrations over having a meaningful existence in this world Have I become techno-mad that I would lose my foothold on this earth without access to technologies? No I don't think so Right now, I think my mind is just saddled with taking care of my 91 year old mother.
A woman's husband in a community is comatose and has been in the hospital for nearly 4 months She knew that it would take a very long time, almost heroic proportions to bring him back to normal. So also, I knew that her moroseness and loneliness were caused by his absence. Yet, I asked her pointblank, how could you feel so when this man had been shouting at you, cursing your children by your first husband and belittling every business efforts you would make to tide over the family's needs She happened to be the family breadwinner and the man only her assistant to her transactions, yet had equal ownership of every profitable venture that she had been able to rake.
My mother is different though. She is easy to teach than that other woman When she told me that this 23rd would be her saddest birthday since her husband had passed away, I told her that she can always greet herself, a happy birthday Nobody ruled that people should always celebrate their birthdays with other people In fact my most memorable celebration of my birthday was when I went toa resort and spent great time looking at the horizon, sitting down underneath a coconut tree, drinking beer and writing down my thoughts, what I had been or had achieved in the past year and my future plans. Am I being westernized in that sense? In a way yes, but I can imagine our indigenous tribes allowing their members to be the same -- reflective of their existence For example, I have seen a child in the high mountains of T'boli tribes in South Cotabato, Southern Philippines, playing with his leaf whistle while in front of a vast field of green ricestalks. I think he had been there for more than an hour and had been fascinated by whistling and seeing the birds around him. He must have been communicating with them as well.
Here or there, east or west? It does not really matter I guess what is important is that we feel whole, together and human.
A woman's husband in a community is comatose and has been in the hospital for nearly 4 months She knew that it would take a very long time, almost heroic proportions to bring him back to normal. So also, I knew that her moroseness and loneliness were caused by his absence. Yet, I asked her pointblank, how could you feel so when this man had been shouting at you, cursing your children by your first husband and belittling every business efforts you would make to tide over the family's needs She happened to be the family breadwinner and the man only her assistant to her transactions, yet had equal ownership of every profitable venture that she had been able to rake.
My mother is different though. She is easy to teach than that other woman When she told me that this 23rd would be her saddest birthday since her husband had passed away, I told her that she can always greet herself, a happy birthday Nobody ruled that people should always celebrate their birthdays with other people In fact my most memorable celebration of my birthday was when I went toa resort and spent great time looking at the horizon, sitting down underneath a coconut tree, drinking beer and writing down my thoughts, what I had been or had achieved in the past year and my future plans. Am I being westernized in that sense? In a way yes, but I can imagine our indigenous tribes allowing their members to be the same -- reflective of their existence For example, I have seen a child in the high mountains of T'boli tribes in South Cotabato, Southern Philippines, playing with his leaf whistle while in front of a vast field of green ricestalks. I think he had been there for more than an hour and had been fascinated by whistling and seeing the birds around him. He must have been communicating with them as well.
Here or there, east or west? It does not really matter I guess what is important is that we feel whole, together and human.
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Something vicious
Something vicious is happening to my blog. I just wrote about loneliness and then when I pressed "View my Blog" -- lo and behold, a different blog appears. Virus, human political dirty virus is at it again. Help
Dealing with loneliness
My page has not been touched for two weeks already. I find myself engaged in writing replies to my emails everytime and then suddenly I have to leave. wow, so many problems of OFWs. And now my son is in Singapore and he feels very lonely. He wants to get out of it already. He cannot stand the solitude.
But what is being lonely in a foreign land? Is Singapore really a lonely place? Why should we feel alone in that country? i wonder? I was in London for 18 months and I was able to develop many friends. Everyday I was cycling my way to the center of London to go to Ujamaa where I read a lot about the women's movement, the left movement, the third world movement. I was fired by that idealism to read, read books because at that time, the country was under martial law. ( I lived up north in Kentish Town and later at Hampstead Heath in one of those Victorian era two story houses. They are gone now. The city council did not find it important to keep them despite their historical value.)
Of course, I also had to deal with loneliness and I had close friends to whom I could pour my heart out like Judith Weeks, Mari, Sindamani Bridglal, and Pat Thomas. They were really great people. I also met a lot of folks from all over the globe -- all steeped in democratic processes and respectful of other people's ideas. There was even one Vietnam war veteran there who slept with a woman from an Eastern european country and was I so shocked.
I guess, I will have to teach my child how to appreciate his good luck, earning a lot while enjoying a new culture. I hope also that Singapore would open up his vista about culture and raise their level of democratic acceptance of different beliefs.
But what is being lonely in a foreign land? Is Singapore really a lonely place? Why should we feel alone in that country? i wonder? I was in London for 18 months and I was able to develop many friends. Everyday I was cycling my way to the center of London to go to Ujamaa where I read a lot about the women's movement, the left movement, the third world movement. I was fired by that idealism to read, read books because at that time, the country was under martial law. ( I lived up north in Kentish Town and later at Hampstead Heath in one of those Victorian era two story houses. They are gone now. The city council did not find it important to keep them despite their historical value.)
Of course, I also had to deal with loneliness and I had close friends to whom I could pour my heart out like Judith Weeks, Mari, Sindamani Bridglal, and Pat Thomas. They were really great people. I also met a lot of folks from all over the globe -- all steeped in democratic processes and respectful of other people's ideas. There was even one Vietnam war veteran there who slept with a woman from an Eastern european country and was I so shocked.
I guess, I will have to teach my child how to appreciate his good luck, earning a lot while enjoying a new culture. I hope also that Singapore would open up his vista about culture and raise their level of democratic acceptance of different beliefs.
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