Passion is an overriding feeling that propels me to exist from day to day. I must have passion for writing, for computing, for singing, for dancing, etcetera. I could go on and on. I realize this only now on my first senior year. Last Sunday, the 12th, I told Joy, "I lost my heart for singing. I can't join the choir now. May I take a vacation. " He replied, "Ok lang, kasi artist ka e." But isn't he one?
Earlier, I told one male member who greeted me at the canteen, "O, kumusta ka na?" I replied, "Heto, hindi ko alam may nagdi-diyos-diyosan pala rito. 'You can't enter the church here,'" I said in a booming voice like a patriarch. Come to think of it, even if a member looks very feminine in nice female clothes, yet her thinking and behavior reveal patriarchal elements. And that is really scary.
Now, with so much time in my hands, as I am not thinking of what to sing every Tuesday, Friday, and Sunday, wow I had spent three days a week for singing, I am able to plan how to finish the books which I am producing. At the same time, I am able to focus on the real estate issues which my brother and I are working on so as to be able to pay for this house which my mother had pawned and won handily from the former owner through the Supreme Court. I just pray though that we would be granted enough time to work on it.
But my passion now revolves around the US elections. Every early morning I turn on this computer and read the latest news. How I wish I could view the video as well but this laptop is too, too slow. And I am always worried that my internet card would get finished off by waiting, which may now open the page at all, you see.
So Folks, passion is a nice feeling as it keeps me awake and alert to fulfilling my talents, desires and whatever. Happy hunting!
Monday, October 13, 2008
Thursday, October 9, 2008
After all is said and done
How broad the internet could be. Imagine I could go and read about the US elections going on whether it is in LA or New York. Truly the internet is the best invention of humanity, linking all of us up to know, interpret events that matter to earth and to all of us.
I am able to read about the exercise of that right to vote, the difficult efforts of the Democrats in instilling the need to have a new government, away from warmongers and warhawks who make the work so insecure.
So I am able to read also about the perils of freedom-- freedom that kills individual initiatives to create and be part of a humane society. So democracy is not all bed of roses. It is a constant struggle to know what is best for the majority of the people so that a minority will not be able to ram down our throats those practices that would make them dominate the world.
Where will these all take us? When US is able to pick its president, for good or bad, where will it take the Philippines? We have not really studied our own independence where politics is concerned. We have been tailists, tailing American this way and that. But I think now, our own little voices count, we are being heard as our needs are being told and planned for change.
After the elections, we will check what the Filipino Americans did to bring about a new administration, what they hoped for would be achieved, and what they had done to continue or to close down the mistakes of the past. Also, we need to ask, up to what extent did they participate in the elections to bring about better policies of treating the Filipino people.
I am able to read about the exercise of that right to vote, the difficult efforts of the Democrats in instilling the need to have a new government, away from warmongers and warhawks who make the work so insecure.
So I am able to read also about the perils of freedom-- freedom that kills individual initiatives to create and be part of a humane society. So democracy is not all bed of roses. It is a constant struggle to know what is best for the majority of the people so that a minority will not be able to ram down our throats those practices that would make them dominate the world.
Where will these all take us? When US is able to pick its president, for good or bad, where will it take the Philippines? We have not really studied our own independence where politics is concerned. We have been tailists, tailing American this way and that. But I think now, our own little voices count, we are being heard as our needs are being told and planned for change.
After the elections, we will check what the Filipino Americans did to bring about a new administration, what they hoped for would be achieved, and what they had done to continue or to close down the mistakes of the past. Also, we need to ask, up to what extent did they participate in the elections to bring about better policies of treating the Filipino people.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
US affects Philippine election campaigns
I watch almost everyday the happenings in the US elections to learn how a democratic election, is supposed to be. Every early morning I tune in through the internet on the latest issues confronting the presidential candidates, and scantily their veeps.
What i find is rather revealing of the deep roots of democracy in the US. The issues are really dissected objectively and subjectively, as they are expounded on by the candidates. Questions like, do they treat cursorily or broadly, with sarcasm or wit, etc. The debates are also delved into with great depth -- what is the score of this candidate among which section of the population? Even bar habitues are covered for their answers.
Funds are also tackled to see who is ethically spending the money and for what ads. Are the ads racist, non-racist, and to whom do they appeal? Even jokes that use celebrities parodying the candidates are presented as part of that colorful side of the elections.
What all these show is that assuming a public position is not an easy task for the ordinary folks. The US elections have gone a long way from just being able to point to one picture or one name as the one prefers to lead him or her through four or six years. Rather they are long, tedious and undertakings with complicated processes that perhaps only an elite with plenty of funds can really undertake. For every step along the way, the costs are high --
hiring a fund-raising savvy staff,
hiring an advertising consultant,
hiring a speech writer, -- this one I really do not favour. I do think that politicians should be able to talk from their heads and not through the heads of other people. They may not be able to articulate much their ideas but still that is their duty, to learn how to communicate them in the best possible way -- not only through words but through drawings, paintings, etc.
And this is where I would like campaigns to take a different path. A candidate need not just be able to rattle off ideas in gathering support. One should be able to use other means like the arts to present one's ideas. Ah, if only the public could be less demanding.
What i find is rather revealing of the deep roots of democracy in the US. The issues are really dissected objectively and subjectively, as they are expounded on by the candidates. Questions like, do they treat cursorily or broadly, with sarcasm or wit, etc. The debates are also delved into with great depth -- what is the score of this candidate among which section of the population? Even bar habitues are covered for their answers.
Funds are also tackled to see who is ethically spending the money and for what ads. Are the ads racist, non-racist, and to whom do they appeal? Even jokes that use celebrities parodying the candidates are presented as part of that colorful side of the elections.
What all these show is that assuming a public position is not an easy task for the ordinary folks. The US elections have gone a long way from just being able to point to one picture or one name as the one prefers to lead him or her through four or six years. Rather they are long, tedious and undertakings with complicated processes that perhaps only an elite with plenty of funds can really undertake. For every step along the way, the costs are high --
hiring a fund-raising savvy staff,
hiring an advertising consultant,
hiring a speech writer, -- this one I really do not favour. I do think that politicians should be able to talk from their heads and not through the heads of other people. They may not be able to articulate much their ideas but still that is their duty, to learn how to communicate them in the best possible way -- not only through words but through drawings, paintings, etc.
And this is where I would like campaigns to take a different path. A candidate need not just be able to rattle off ideas in gathering support. One should be able to use other means like the arts to present one's ideas. Ah, if only the public could be less demanding.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
when blogging becomes a refuge
i just felt like blogging today, after coming from Bacolod City where I had spent my first few years of childhood. It was an idyllic city then, as my family and I lives in a place full of flowering trees and plants which I used to water every morning, with my urine poured into it as fertilizer. afterwards, my brothers and i would sail a small banca at the back of our house, go out through a small containment of water which opens out into the seashore and where we would pick seashells and other ocean habitues like crablets and shrimps. the air was clean and fresh, which probably strengthened our lungs to survive smoking, pollution and emotional stresses.
going with my sister and brother was reliving those years of nature escapes which also deepened our imagination. I remember sitting on a rocking chair in a louvre-type window of our house, and listening to "Malaguena" played on the piano by someone from a house owned by a hacendero or landlord or landlady across ours. In between our houses were bamboo shoots emitting rickety sounds which made me feel being in a fantasy-land full of ghost stories.
but the musical piece stuck in my mind and i bought a score later on for my personal study later on.
Aged 7 or 8 years old then, every four o'clock in the afternoon, I used to play the piano, reaching up to the twilight hours where the sunrays would shine upon the musical sheets like golden hands of God, illuminating the passages for me to continue playing and playing classical music arranged for a child's hands.
my teacher was Eva Llorca then who gave me the rudiments of piano-playing in a very discipline way so that I was able to develop a unique initiative to study music with and without a teacher. yes, because later on, enrolling in one became quite tedious. my last succeeding teacher was not as studious as she was in teaching me. A graduate of chemistry, she ventured in piano teaching rather sloppily and I could sense that by the way she had destroyed the wooden finish of the piano cover with her pencil striking it to beat as I was playing. It was only after my sister had cautioned her that she stopped doing it.
but if she was a real scientist, or even artist, she should have already noticed the ugly scratches of her pencilhead on the cover. also, when i finished the second grade John Thompson, she wrote in blue ballpen my name and then misspelled it. Ugh. for a young mind as mine, it was a great disaster. At that time, i needed to idolize someone nearly perfect especially in terms of spelling the names of their students. Or I guess, Ms. Llorca presented to me a very good image of a really disciplined piano tutor. anyway, until now, i still play the piano, ouido or with a score.
so when I visited 90-year old Mama J. in her house, I played her favorites as well as mine. She came out to greet me in the sala and really felt very much reinvigorated. Then I played "all of me" a song which her husband and the family really loved and sang whenever someone would be in front of the piano. She could still remember the words, too and so she sang with us.
Bacolod is truly a place for artistic inspiration. My own nephew, now a famous painter in the States and here in the country, created his one-man show paintings in the heart of one of the towns. shall I mention his name? others might say I am riding on his popularity. But he is famous for his expressionistic searing style. By the way, he will be home again this Nov or December. Aside from these examples, the Masscara Festival is one testimony to that artistry which the late Ely Santiago started. There ought to be a monument for him, by the way for having institutionalized such a festival.
Then of course, the Showroom of the Association of Negros Producers attest to the varied talents of Negrenses. I wish I were a resident so that I could also participate in the exhibitions. Not exactly because MetroManila is a hard nut to crack in terms of getting popular as an artist, but rather as a way of feeling collectively connected with our roots.
going with my sister and brother was reliving those years of nature escapes which also deepened our imagination. I remember sitting on a rocking chair in a louvre-type window of our house, and listening to "Malaguena" played on the piano by someone from a house owned by a hacendero or landlord or landlady across ours. In between our houses were bamboo shoots emitting rickety sounds which made me feel being in a fantasy-land full of ghost stories.
but the musical piece stuck in my mind and i bought a score later on for my personal study later on.
Aged 7 or 8 years old then, every four o'clock in the afternoon, I used to play the piano, reaching up to the twilight hours where the sunrays would shine upon the musical sheets like golden hands of God, illuminating the passages for me to continue playing and playing classical music arranged for a child's hands.
my teacher was Eva Llorca then who gave me the rudiments of piano-playing in a very discipline way so that I was able to develop a unique initiative to study music with and without a teacher. yes, because later on, enrolling in one became quite tedious. my last succeeding teacher was not as studious as she was in teaching me. A graduate of chemistry, she ventured in piano teaching rather sloppily and I could sense that by the way she had destroyed the wooden finish of the piano cover with her pencil striking it to beat as I was playing. It was only after my sister had cautioned her that she stopped doing it.
but if she was a real scientist, or even artist, she should have already noticed the ugly scratches of her pencilhead on the cover. also, when i finished the second grade John Thompson, she wrote in blue ballpen my name and then misspelled it. Ugh. for a young mind as mine, it was a great disaster. At that time, i needed to idolize someone nearly perfect especially in terms of spelling the names of their students. Or I guess, Ms. Llorca presented to me a very good image of a really disciplined piano tutor. anyway, until now, i still play the piano, ouido or with a score.
so when I visited 90-year old Mama J. in her house, I played her favorites as well as mine. She came out to greet me in the sala and really felt very much reinvigorated. Then I played "all of me" a song which her husband and the family really loved and sang whenever someone would be in front of the piano. She could still remember the words, too and so she sang with us.
Bacolod is truly a place for artistic inspiration. My own nephew, now a famous painter in the States and here in the country, created his one-man show paintings in the heart of one of the towns. shall I mention his name? others might say I am riding on his popularity. But he is famous for his expressionistic searing style. By the way, he will be home again this Nov or December. Aside from these examples, the Masscara Festival is one testimony to that artistry which the late Ely Santiago started. There ought to be a monument for him, by the way for having institutionalized such a festival.
Then of course, the Showroom of the Association of Negros Producers attest to the varied talents of Negrenses. I wish I were a resident so that I could also participate in the exhibitions. Not exactly because MetroManila is a hard nut to crack in terms of getting popular as an artist, but rather as a way of feeling collectively connected with our roots.
rest
I never thought that a five-day rest from MetroManila could bring a reinvigorated feeling within me. it is not something that is easily acquired here. it is something sought after all. you see, harassment comes in various forms in our country -- starting from hits at age, to hits at dark skin, hits at being single and without a boyfriend, to being called smelly and dirty. despite the developments of technology, there are really forces that cannot accept contrary opinions, all in the name of money and power.
how i pray and hope that this administration would wither away quickly and give us a new breathing space with which to exercise our humanity. the thing is, our whole lives are taken up parrying all those harassments, analyzing how we can move institutions to stop them, and afterwards ending up so tired that not an ounce of solution seems directed to their final termination.
money is what strengthens these harassers to continue their operations. i did not know that gloria could be that ingenious to know how to manipulate some people's desire for power and greed.
but anyway, God will provide the final answer.
how i pray and hope that this administration would wither away quickly and give us a new breathing space with which to exercise our humanity. the thing is, our whole lives are taken up parrying all those harassments, analyzing how we can move institutions to stop them, and afterwards ending up so tired that not an ounce of solution seems directed to their final termination.
money is what strengthens these harassers to continue their operations. i did not know that gloria could be that ingenious to know how to manipulate some people's desire for power and greed.
but anyway, God will provide the final answer.
email eureka
I have just recovered my email address. my goodness it looks like google philippines is not so reliable when it comes to protecting our passwords. it has been infiltrated by bugs.
anyway, am i glad to be back in circulation. but sometimes i get email fatigue, a dis-ease that makes us distance ourselves from reading kilometric sentences that point nowhere. at bacolod city, i was able to read emails, uninterrrupted and with speed during the first two days. on the third day, bugs set in, slowing down operations. and on my last day, i could no longer open my emails.
the world has to find a way of correcting this intellectual aberration of other people destroying communication, and on top of that, invading privacies. i think this is a subtle form, a development from the SSS operations during Hitler's regime. it strikes at the root of people's consciousness which makes them vulnerable to blind obedience to unseen forces, and to mute acquiescence to all types of mental manipulation.
there has to be an end to evil in this world
anyway, am i glad to be back in circulation. but sometimes i get email fatigue, a dis-ease that makes us distance ourselves from reading kilometric sentences that point nowhere. at bacolod city, i was able to read emails, uninterrrupted and with speed during the first two days. on the third day, bugs set in, slowing down operations. and on my last day, i could no longer open my emails.
the world has to find a way of correcting this intellectual aberration of other people destroying communication, and on top of that, invading privacies. i think this is a subtle form, a development from the SSS operations during Hitler's regime. it strikes at the root of people's consciousness which makes them vulnerable to blind obedience to unseen forces, and to mute acquiescence to all types of mental manipulation.
there has to be an end to evil in this world
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Less Harassed
I thinkthat the establishment here in this country is getting less paranoid. I am less harassed now, or was yesterday a lie low time for them? I carried a small placard which had the caption: SA ILALIM NG M. LAW, ANG TAUMBAYAN WALANG SARILING PAG-IISIP AT WALANG OPINYON. Many women passengers on board the MRT were reading it but their faces were bland, no reaction. Are the Filipino people immune, callous, desensitized to activism already? The extent of harassment and government reaction to critical thinking has taken a toll on the people's political standpoint.
Or is it the media? Have the media not allowed the people to voice out their grievances, so much so that the people are always waiting for them now to take up the issues and speak for them? There should always be space for assessing how powerful media could be in terms of speaking about issues but not always speaking for the people?
Or is it possible that the people are mesmerized by the kind of officials we have -- who all come from the elite, affluent and speaking English all the time?
Amid all these, on the other side of the globe, the American people are in preparation to decide who will lead them next January 2009 up.
It must be very exciting for them. But I wonder, how honest their elections would be. One US official was asked here how elections had been after bush was declared winner. and he said, "We Americans learn from your elections," and he was talking about the counting in Florida.
Really now!
---Yesterday, I went to Makati to get my loyalty reward phone from Globe and to get my celfone fixed. The guy there said that it would be sent to my son's place. When I told him that I had talked already to the Globe in Quezon Ave, and they told me that I could just come today, 21st of Septmber and get the unit. He viewed his computer and then said that all I have to do is call up the hotline, 7301000.
Bureaucrat!
-----------
I finished my Supreme Court Memofor Reconsideration, detailing my stint at the Inquirer from 89 to 91, why I should have been regularized for working as a regular columnist weekly for almost three years earning a pittance of 300 pesos per article.
In it, I delved into historical and theoretical issues about communication. How a big newspaper like the Inquirer could take advantage of idealistic writers (hint, like me) and pay me a patsy amount just because it could hire writers, make them submit articles and pretend that no employer-employee exists.
Or is it the media? Have the media not allowed the people to voice out their grievances, so much so that the people are always waiting for them now to take up the issues and speak for them? There should always be space for assessing how powerful media could be in terms of speaking about issues but not always speaking for the people?
Or is it possible that the people are mesmerized by the kind of officials we have -- who all come from the elite, affluent and speaking English all the time?
Amid all these, on the other side of the globe, the American people are in preparation to decide who will lead them next January 2009 up.
It must be very exciting for them. But I wonder, how honest their elections would be. One US official was asked here how elections had been after bush was declared winner. and he said, "We Americans learn from your elections," and he was talking about the counting in Florida.
Really now!
---Yesterday, I went to Makati to get my loyalty reward phone from Globe and to get my celfone fixed. The guy there said that it would be sent to my son's place. When I told him that I had talked already to the Globe in Quezon Ave, and they told me that I could just come today, 21st of Septmber and get the unit. He viewed his computer and then said that all I have to do is call up the hotline, 7301000.
Bureaucrat!
-----------
I finished my Supreme Court Memofor Reconsideration, detailing my stint at the Inquirer from 89 to 91, why I should have been regularized for working as a regular columnist weekly for almost three years earning a pittance of 300 pesos per article.
In it, I delved into historical and theoretical issues about communication. How a big newspaper like the Inquirer could take advantage of idealistic writers (hint, like me) and pay me a patsy amount just because it could hire writers, make them submit articles and pretend that no employer-employee exists.
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