loving

what makes loving a person such a very big effort? so many books give advice on how to love, as if it were truly a course to be learned and practiced. but what is really loving? february 14 is fast approaching and i am sure many stores are now gearing up for it, to present the best hear-shaped designs for their bookstores to attract buyers, for the windows of cafes to attract cooing couples wanting to relive their first dates, for the gates of motels and hotels to usher in lovers feeling sexy and expressive of that "it' which could be for procreation too, according to the religious.

yet loving i feel should be a simple pit-a-pat feeling for not always a person, but an activity, like a certain craft or hobby or skill. i have felt that great urge to create puppets in 1994 to 2000 as puppetry had become then a good respite from the rigorous dissertation writing i was doing. mental work and handicraft became a good combination to maintain one's balance in the face of a fake regime, which was tainted with questions of genuine votes for its installation.

by the way, i had my column writings as well as access to magazines that accepted my fictional writings then to allow me to express my political views through them rather liberally. but as usual, suppression is the name of the game for the powers-that-be, and i had to shift activities -- as i had to turn to filmmaking, and this was after the election of the only president who earned a landslide victory at the polls.

the rest is history, my dears. but i can assure you that i was loving myself through all these years as i was able t churn out many works, from puppet plays, to a film and body of political writings which i could compile into books. of course, before loving others, we must love ourselves first.