I was surprised to know that a friend of mine leads a dichotomous bloglife. He has a blog for his personal writings and another for his "serious stuff." I never have this kind of separated life -- simply because in the women's movement, we say that "the personal is political." So whether I write about what is happening to me personally or about the society I am in, it is still me talking, not another person.
But maybe he has a purpose. Perhaps someday, he plants to publish his writings and through that categorization of his writings, it would be easy to compile them into two books.
Yet, when we dichotomize, are we not saying that life could have this kind of separation? I perceive life as one seamless thread. Whether knots occur now and then, it is still one and the same life I have. I breathe the same air whether I am writing short stories or essays. And when I write poetry, then that is still me - perhaps wanting to get away from the overly-rational life of politics. But who says that poems cannot be political, or short stories for that matter?
I told a friend, I write short stories when essays contain too much truth that are too blunt for the authorities to take.
Friday, June 29, 2007
My only country
I am now slowly recovering my love for my country. I am beginning to love the scenery, the different places which used to make me sick. There must be something great about having a change of leaders. Sometime two years past, I used to hate everything in this place. I could not stand seeing the pictures of cheating officials in the papers. I used to draw horns on their heads and fangs on their mouths to signify their kinship with Dracula. Although seeping blood among NGO activists and media journalists still occur, I am beginning to see the light - many sectors in our society are already awake to the iniquities -- the ordinary folks are no longer mum about so many issues. They speak out and show their concern if not disgust about the turn of events. (I used to be in a place in an urban poor area where I felt like a sore thumb talking about the need for change whereas many of the folks are just thinking of where to get money to buy their food.) The Church now has a daily program on air -- Veritas 846, although they seem not to be too critical of the types of advertisements that they churn out there. The ads are commercializing their programs. Then the media of course is brilliant -- everyday, worthy news is coming out and opinions are flying all over the place. The journalists - broadcast and print are no longer afraid to speak out. Would you believe Ellen Tordesillas called Gloria A, magnanakaw? That was printed in Abante and my mother was so shocked beyond belief. So I told her, perhaps Ellen had a journalist friend who either disappeared or got killed and belongs to the statistics of the extra judicial killings.
But then, the bigger problem I see is the militarization of the government. Too many soldiers are in key positions in the government bringing with them their black and white idea of life; or it is either war or peace. They are at war if the people are not for them, and at peace when people are quiet and not contradicting their positions. I think that military men should be allowed to hold office, unless they are voted into office like Trillanes IV, only after 5 years of being a civilian. It takes time for a militaristic mind to mellow down and appreciate the need for legal and non-violent means of resolving social and personal issues.
Another problem I deem to be difficult is the instant victory of former enemies of cheaters who have just won seats in the government through elections, but are now singing a different song. I read today that Allan Peter Cayetano, voted senator, who was in the past the "erstwhile" enemy of the First Gentleman because Cayetano had chosen to squeal on the latter's foreign accounts abroad (although still to be proven) is declaring that he will vote for bills that would emanate from Malacanang if it would help the economy.
Let us keep our fingers crossed that the interests of the people, their trust on these officials which they showed by voting them into office, would not go down the drain.
So do I still love my country? For all its potholes and the corrupt practices of its officials? Excuse me, but I see that the poor people are still hoping that something would happen to their lives. I maintain my Polyanna views because of them, not because of the people at the helm. I believe that so long as the majority of the poor people view their lives as not wasted although they are still in that struggling stage and are prepared meet head-on the problems of survival, then my positive view of life in our country is intact. I hope.
A phrase that is worthwhile saying when problems occur is to say "So what?" a psychologist said. But for me, I hum a tune to myself, and with it, I know the words that are in every note -- something about being patient becaus things will come to a head after all.
Have a nice day!
But then, the bigger problem I see is the militarization of the government. Too many soldiers are in key positions in the government bringing with them their black and white idea of life; or it is either war or peace. They are at war if the people are not for them, and at peace when people are quiet and not contradicting their positions. I think that military men should be allowed to hold office, unless they are voted into office like Trillanes IV, only after 5 years of being a civilian. It takes time for a militaristic mind to mellow down and appreciate the need for legal and non-violent means of resolving social and personal issues.
Another problem I deem to be difficult is the instant victory of former enemies of cheaters who have just won seats in the government through elections, but are now singing a different song. I read today that Allan Peter Cayetano, voted senator, who was in the past the "erstwhile" enemy of the First Gentleman because Cayetano had chosen to squeal on the latter's foreign accounts abroad (although still to be proven) is declaring that he will vote for bills that would emanate from Malacanang if it would help the economy.
Let us keep our fingers crossed that the interests of the people, their trust on these officials which they showed by voting them into office, would not go down the drain.
So do I still love my country? For all its potholes and the corrupt practices of its officials? Excuse me, but I see that the poor people are still hoping that something would happen to their lives. I maintain my Polyanna views because of them, not because of the people at the helm. I believe that so long as the majority of the poor people view their lives as not wasted although they are still in that struggling stage and are prepared meet head-on the problems of survival, then my positive view of life in our country is intact. I hope.
A phrase that is worthwhile saying when problems occur is to say "So what?" a psychologist said. But for me, I hum a tune to myself, and with it, I know the words that are in every note -- something about being patient becaus things will come to a head after all.
Have a nice day!
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
When Celfones Get Lost
I still cannot get over my lost cellfone, Nokia 7260. It was given to me by my son for my birthday last year. But not yet a year old I lost it in Magsaysay Village, Tondo while going there one evening to remind the women about the trip to the Museo Pambata the following day. Since that time, February 2007, I have hardly stepped at the Village. I feel numb whenever I go there.
Why is it so traumatic losing a cellfone? This week I read a headline about an individual saying that the cellfone is more important than her wedding ring. A cellfone is one's communication with the world. Can you imagine folks that for many decades, about 4 decades, in my case, I never had a decent line of communication. The cellfone revolutionizes our way of communicating with other people. We can be contacted very easily wherever we are. Well, if you were here in the Philippines before the entry of cellfones, you can imagine us roving around to look for a public phone somewhere so that we can keep in touch with our friends and business associates. At home, we shared phones with the rest of the family members and have to queue up in order to get our chance to make a call.
Then the pager came and it seemed a good answer to our being accessible when out of the house. So as soon as it rang, whereever we were, we would rush to the nearest public phone to return the call. I also remember seeing that tall building in Cubao, the Pocketbell office where I used to pay my bills. But now it is gone. The pager is obsolete, now taken over by the Scandinavian and Japanese devices, the cellfones.
Going back to my lost cellfone, I lost also the phone numbers of very important people in my work. It was a good thing, I was able to list them down in a notebook one time. But the trouble of writing them again to another cellfone is very tedious. Maybe we should have a bank somewhere in the satellite in which we can secretly bank our phone lists and access them should we ever lose our cellfone.
The most recent models boast of having a capability for the user to watch tv programs. Now, I don't really like that because it could be abused and draw the user to dangerous levels. For example, we could get so engrossed watching the tv program while driving and then lose control of the wheels. I think that we should retain the integrity of the device -- it is small, so its features should be enough to serve as a communications medium.
Anyway, what else is in the offing in the realm of communications?
Why is it so traumatic losing a cellfone? This week I read a headline about an individual saying that the cellfone is more important than her wedding ring. A cellfone is one's communication with the world. Can you imagine folks that for many decades, about 4 decades, in my case, I never had a decent line of communication. The cellfone revolutionizes our way of communicating with other people. We can be contacted very easily wherever we are. Well, if you were here in the Philippines before the entry of cellfones, you can imagine us roving around to look for a public phone somewhere so that we can keep in touch with our friends and business associates. At home, we shared phones with the rest of the family members and have to queue up in order to get our chance to make a call.
Then the pager came and it seemed a good answer to our being accessible when out of the house. So as soon as it rang, whereever we were, we would rush to the nearest public phone to return the call. I also remember seeing that tall building in Cubao, the Pocketbell office where I used to pay my bills. But now it is gone. The pager is obsolete, now taken over by the Scandinavian and Japanese devices, the cellfones.
Going back to my lost cellfone, I lost also the phone numbers of very important people in my work. It was a good thing, I was able to list them down in a notebook one time. But the trouble of writing them again to another cellfone is very tedious. Maybe we should have a bank somewhere in the satellite in which we can secretly bank our phone lists and access them should we ever lose our cellfone.
The most recent models boast of having a capability for the user to watch tv programs. Now, I don't really like that because it could be abused and draw the user to dangerous levels. For example, we could get so engrossed watching the tv program while driving and then lose control of the wheels. I think that we should retain the integrity of the device -- it is small, so its features should be enough to serve as a communications medium.
Anyway, what else is in the offing in the realm of communications?
when life is unfair
(Note: I just lost my most recent post and I had thought that blogger saves our drafts automatically. But i think google should investigate why all the paragraphs i have written are now all gone.)
That ballad, "Ordinary Song" is very engaging. I seldom hear it on the radio but when I do it seems to be automatically tuned in to my emotional state at that moment when I find life to be so unfair. In fact, there is a line in the song that says something like this, "When life seems so unfair, I will be there, singing this "ordinary song" to you.
Many of the Philippine songs could have been composed for some kind of romantic settings. I have composed some but they contain lyrics about the environment and talking about the lives of the urban poor and of women. I cannot get them to be aired on the radio because they sound too radical. However, I was able to present them over the Sunday Concert at the Park in Luneta for 45 minutes in the 90's. I was surprised to know from the production coordinator, Gie Arnold, a widow, that the show was well-watched by music students.
What happens to artistic works like these is that they get to be shown publicly but only through concerted efforts of some government institutions like the National Parks Development committee in bringing culture to the masses. Someday, when things are all right, perhaps, we will have daily presentations at the Luneta Park geared towards showcasing the works of Pilipino artists and
composers. We can dream, can't we?
That ballad, "Ordinary Song" is very engaging. I seldom hear it on the radio but when I do it seems to be automatically tuned in to my emotional state at that moment when I find life to be so unfair. In fact, there is a line in the song that says something like this, "When life seems so unfair, I will be there, singing this "ordinary song" to you.
Many of the Philippine songs could have been composed for some kind of romantic settings. I have composed some but they contain lyrics about the environment and talking about the lives of the urban poor and of women. I cannot get them to be aired on the radio because they sound too radical. However, I was able to present them over the Sunday Concert at the Park in Luneta for 45 minutes in the 90's. I was surprised to know from the production coordinator, Gie Arnold, a widow, that the show was well-watched by music students.
What happens to artistic works like these is that they get to be shown publicly but only through concerted efforts of some government institutions like the National Parks Development committee in bringing culture to the masses. Someday, when things are all right, perhaps, we will have daily presentations at the Luneta Park geared towards showcasing the works of Pilipino artists and
composers. We can dream, can't we?
Monday, June 25, 2007
Fresh Sea Air Breathes Freedom
Last Sunday, I went to Luneta Grandstand with women and a man from the Smokey Mountain relocation site. I taught the women the song: "Tokatokatok" my composition which discusses the origins of the species. Did women come from the ribs of men, or did women and men arise from the bamboo shoot which a bird rapped on? "Saan nanggaling ang babae? Saan nanggaling ang lalaki? Saan nanggaling ang katauhan, Yan ang ating palaisipan."
As we were about to finish learning the song, I decided to ask the women if they agree that women and men should be equal. More than half said that equality is impossible, while two said that it is. When I was asked for my opinion, I said that there are two strands of thinking here -- one group talks of the present conditions of women -- that we are in a disadvantageous position to men; while the other group talks of the equality principle, that women should be assertive.
Then I explained to them why there is such a thing as a women's movement that we earned the right to vote only in 1937 from the Americans, that women before the Family Code was signed had to get the consent of their husbands before entering any business deals or agreement, that women were secondary in priority of education in families, that some abandoned unmarried women could not get support from the fathers of their children because they do not carry his family name.
I could see how their faces light up as I mention each particular instance of women's sad situation.
Were we free to talk because we were there in Luneta breathing fresh sea air? Luneta where Rizal met his death in the hands of a firing squad under the rule of Spanish civilian and military officers? Were we free to think because they were away from their homes which constantly reminded them of poverty?
How I wish we could continue having such discussions outside of their homes and feel free to explore many ideas about life.
As we were about to finish learning the song, I decided to ask the women if they agree that women and men should be equal. More than half said that equality is impossible, while two said that it is. When I was asked for my opinion, I said that there are two strands of thinking here -- one group talks of the present conditions of women -- that we are in a disadvantageous position to men; while the other group talks of the equality principle, that women should be assertive.
Then I explained to them why there is such a thing as a women's movement that we earned the right to vote only in 1937 from the Americans, that women before the Family Code was signed had to get the consent of their husbands before entering any business deals or agreement, that women were secondary in priority of education in families, that some abandoned unmarried women could not get support from the fathers of their children because they do not carry his family name.
I could see how their faces light up as I mention each particular instance of women's sad situation.
Were we free to talk because we were there in Luneta breathing fresh sea air? Luneta where Rizal met his death in the hands of a firing squad under the rule of Spanish civilian and military officers? Were we free to think because they were away from their homes which constantly reminded them of poverty?
How I wish we could continue having such discussions outside of their homes and feel free to explore many ideas about life.
theft for life
Today, I learned that my son lost his laptop to a burglar in his home. The culprit worked his way to the second floor through the grills covering the garden on the first floor, then hooked out the laptop and let it pass through the window grills. I felt devastated knowing the extremely important data that the laptop contains and the many months and possibly years that my son had put into gathering and organizing his data.
Two weeks ago, because of too many pressures, I forgot my laptop inside a cab. My whole world seemed to crumble then. I kept walking to and fro on the street, trying to look for a cab that could help me run after the first. Then the tricycle drivers at the corner of the street helped me get one. Upon getting in, I asked the driver if we could look for that new cab, model 2005, except that I don't know where he had gone. The driver looked to the left of the street we were crossing and saw a nearly brand new cab. "That one looks new," he said. "Let's try it," I said as it looked like the cab that I had taken. True enough, after I got out and peeped through the glass window I saw my knapsack with the laptop on the front seat beside the driver's. Then the driver himself got out of the door in one of the apartments where the cab was parked. "Oh, I was going to bring it to you, except that I felt like pissing. So I passed by my house. I told you before I live nearby. I was really going to give it to you." Earlier, while inside his cab, I told him in which building of the Smokey Mountain relocation site called Paradise Heights I was going to, and he told me he knew the place.
I believed him -- that he really was going to return it to me. Otherwise, he could have brought it down to his house and then kept it for possible deals that he could make out of it. Some friends said perhaps he was going to pawn it. I don't know if I should say yes to that. I would like to believe in that never-ending goodness of the Filipino people.
But come to think of it, why does this government allow laptops to be pawned? And there are pawnshops selling second hand laptops and even celfones. This means that stealing these objects could be a lucrative profession because the thieves could easily wangle a deal out of them.
The pawnshops would not even report the serial numbers of the laptops nor of the celfones. Otherwise, many victims of thefts could have recovered their properties.
Anyway, these incidents show that there is a graver problem facing us today and tomorrow -- that of brazen behavior to cross legal rules and steal -- for food, for life, or way of life, we could pick our answer.
Two weeks ago, because of too many pressures, I forgot my laptop inside a cab. My whole world seemed to crumble then. I kept walking to and fro on the street, trying to look for a cab that could help me run after the first. Then the tricycle drivers at the corner of the street helped me get one. Upon getting in, I asked the driver if we could look for that new cab, model 2005, except that I don't know where he had gone. The driver looked to the left of the street we were crossing and saw a nearly brand new cab. "That one looks new," he said. "Let's try it," I said as it looked like the cab that I had taken. True enough, after I got out and peeped through the glass window I saw my knapsack with the laptop on the front seat beside the driver's. Then the driver himself got out of the door in one of the apartments where the cab was parked. "Oh, I was going to bring it to you, except that I felt like pissing. So I passed by my house. I told you before I live nearby. I was really going to give it to you." Earlier, while inside his cab, I told him in which building of the Smokey Mountain relocation site called Paradise Heights I was going to, and he told me he knew the place.
I believed him -- that he really was going to return it to me. Otherwise, he could have brought it down to his house and then kept it for possible deals that he could make out of it. Some friends said perhaps he was going to pawn it. I don't know if I should say yes to that. I would like to believe in that never-ending goodness of the Filipino people.
But come to think of it, why does this government allow laptops to be pawned? And there are pawnshops selling second hand laptops and even celfones. This means that stealing these objects could be a lucrative profession because the thieves could easily wangle a deal out of them.
The pawnshops would not even report the serial numbers of the laptops nor of the celfones. Otherwise, many victims of thefts could have recovered their properties.
Anyway, these incidents show that there is a graver problem facing us today and tomorrow -- that of brazen behavior to cross legal rules and steal -- for food, for life, or way of life, we could pick our answer.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
worldwide migration
Many Filipino workers and professionals have gone abroad to seek new identities, new roles, greener pastures and possible resettle in the countries that have received them. The number is getting bigger and bigger as if the Philippines is no longer a haven for Filipinos. Why is this so? Why is life in the Philippines not that atractive anymore for our compatriots?
I know that in Filipino families, there is so much pressure to be financial supportive, to provide one's economic share to fill up domestic needs, especially in the field of education. Couples have a hard time keeping their families above ground -- that is, eating three times a day, with a roof over their head, and the children going to school with complete uniform, allowances, and money for school supplies.
Yet what should be the government's duty is being thrown in as a burden to the family. For example, one child absented himself from his 3rd grade class because his mother was not able to give him an allowance of ten pesos or 50 cents. His mother had to go to a hearing at the department of labor to follow up a case against her former employer who had charged her with theft after her ten-year stint with them as laundrywoman- all around maid in their flower shop. Imagine a maid in a commercial company being paid a maid's salary. So in return, she countercharged the employer with illegal labor practices.
Now why is it a big deal that the child did not go to school? The mother spoke to me about how she rued his absence. Why because every time the child goes to school, he receives 6 kilos of rice FOR FREE. And 6 kilos means that the family will be able to eat properly for 6 meals. 5 days x 6 is 30 kilos which then eases up the mother's problems of making her family survive.
By the way, the father is in jail due to incest-rape and so the mother is now under the care of a non-government organization, Bantay Bata, receiving good counselling for the soul, for her to be strong in the face of the negative directions of her family life in the beginning.
Without a non-government organization helping the mother, her family would have broken up, her daughters sent to some convent to receive education and/or become nuns, or to some night clubs to serve as guest relations officers, about one or two steps to prostitution.
It is 2007 and the Philippines is still experiencing these problems
I know that in Filipino families, there is so much pressure to be financial supportive, to provide one's economic share to fill up domestic needs, especially in the field of education. Couples have a hard time keeping their families above ground -- that is, eating three times a day, with a roof over their head, and the children going to school with complete uniform, allowances, and money for school supplies.
Yet what should be the government's duty is being thrown in as a burden to the family. For example, one child absented himself from his 3rd grade class because his mother was not able to give him an allowance of ten pesos or 50 cents. His mother had to go to a hearing at the department of labor to follow up a case against her former employer who had charged her with theft after her ten-year stint with them as laundrywoman- all around maid in their flower shop. Imagine a maid in a commercial company being paid a maid's salary. So in return, she countercharged the employer with illegal labor practices.
Now why is it a big deal that the child did not go to school? The mother spoke to me about how she rued his absence. Why because every time the child goes to school, he receives 6 kilos of rice FOR FREE. And 6 kilos means that the family will be able to eat properly for 6 meals. 5 days x 6 is 30 kilos which then eases up the mother's problems of making her family survive.
By the way, the father is in jail due to incest-rape and so the mother is now under the care of a non-government organization, Bantay Bata, receiving good counselling for the soul, for her to be strong in the face of the negative directions of her family life in the beginning.
Without a non-government organization helping the mother, her family would have broken up, her daughters sent to some convent to receive education and/or become nuns, or to some night clubs to serve as guest relations officers, about one or two steps to prostitution.
It is 2007 and the Philippines is still experiencing these problems
Email integrity
I don't understand why a simple case of communication gets hacked all the time. My letters, emails, telephone, and celfones are hacked all the time. This has made me feel very uneasy. For example, I always get goosepimples whenever I open my emails because there is always that nagging feeling that something could have happened to my boxes and that I might not be able to access them again. It's really hard living in the Philippines.
At home my telephone conks out again and again. I have reported it to the telephone company which keeps on sending technicians fixing the problem but as soon as they are gone, the problem crops up again.
Then my celfone messages to other people are not received. They tell me so. Yet in my celfone, it says, message sent.
What is wrong about being a writer? Why should I be cut off from communication? This is highly unfair. And unjust. I have even been barred from writing again in broadsheets. I find it difficult looking for space for my ideas.
Isn't it high time that international bodies take strong notice of human rights violations? For example, why can't the United Nations reprimand countries that violate freedom of communication? I think they should put up a monthly list of countries which are human violators and specify the violations.
In this manner, the Philippine government will take notice of how it appears to other countries.
At home my telephone conks out again and again. I have reported it to the telephone company which keeps on sending technicians fixing the problem but as soon as they are gone, the problem crops up again.
Then my celfone messages to other people are not received. They tell me so. Yet in my celfone, it says, message sent.
What is wrong about being a writer? Why should I be cut off from communication? This is highly unfair. And unjust. I have even been barred from writing again in broadsheets. I find it difficult looking for space for my ideas.
Isn't it high time that international bodies take strong notice of human rights violations? For example, why can't the United Nations reprimand countries that violate freedom of communication? I think they should put up a monthly list of countries which are human violators and specify the violations.
In this manner, the Philippine government will take notice of how it appears to other countries.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
personal
i am a member of two ofw associations. i communicate with them as often as i can. my heart bleeds every time i write them. actually the writings are not personal, but rather comments on certain socio-political topics that crop up sent in by any member. so a comment is topped by another comment and so forth and so on. because i am here in the philippines, i sometimes feel a certain melancholia -- maybe because i empathize with them - their being away from the country, dealing with a new culture, separated from their loved ones. even if some of them have their families with them, i don't think they are really happy with their lot. there is something about our roots that make us feel the need to return again and again to them.
when writing goes beyond art
i would like to think that writing is not a responsibility, not an order to be filled up. i would like to be able to write about people, about characters and events in a fictitious place. a novel? yes, a dramatic one.
but i am drawn to writing essays which make me think logically. and when that happens, i become very rationale and my feelings seem to get deadened. maybe i should sit down everyday, spend 30 minutes writing my novel. discipline for fiction is very hard to develop.
well... perhaps.
but i am drawn to writing essays which make me think logically. and when that happens, i become very rationale and my feelings seem to get deadened. maybe i should sit down everyday, spend 30 minutes writing my novel. discipline for fiction is very hard to develop.
well... perhaps.
third world spectacles
why are some quarters afraid of the phrase third world? what's wrong it? I think that there is too much smoothening over of our language in order to accommodate certain sectors who cannot understand nor accept the need for a new economic order. actually i developed my tw perspective in my m a years at the ateneo de manila university. i had jesuit priest-mentors from south asia who were really steeped in philosophy and liberation theology. they were extremely conscious of the fact that there were rich and poor in this world and that everyone can make a move to equalize that.
orozcomyblog
Good evening Friends. I am starting a new blog. It is so exciting for me because then I can write down my thoughts, my subversive thoughts according to some quarters, and communicate with you. Sometimes I will send you drawings -- my visual outlook on life or sometimes I will sing a song to you. Yes I do compose music, songs actually, but I have also done a short classical piece, several feminist songs, and currently doing a sonata for a flute and piano. Well, here then I will be in this corner. anytime you feel like communicating with me, please fell free to do so.
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