Dancing politics

Politics in the Philippines require knowing how to dance - all kinds of dances, the traditional, the modern, even the outrageous -- maskipops, or maski papaano (whatever). This is because the ordinary Filipino voters who put the officials on Philippine political map are so difficutl to decipher as well. So when you meet them, you have to check to which dance he or she will respond.

And that is because our folks have had to contend with different kinds of politicians, those they trusted and distrusted later on. At first, they gave their best foot forward, voting the honest ones in politics. Later on, these because the oppressors, the amnesiacs who could not recognize those who helped them get on the platform and back to their seats, as well as the megalomaniacs who want to rule forever and ever. And so, our voting ordinary folks, learned to dance, tango, twist, and cha-cha. But the latter, they are not dancing this time. It is too costly, morally and physically for them and for us, as well.

What is it about dancing that attracts people, especially in politics. When you dance, you free your body of rigidity, of inflexibility. And so, dancing allows you to move all your muscles in your limbs, your torso, and your neck. Every part moves, and you can imagine the blood flowing breezily or chaotically from one organ to the other. It flows breezily if you don't have those rickety veins which have not experienced pumping regularly; and chaotically, when you lack massage.

Yes folks, massage is a very good therapy for tired and frigid muscles that cannot dance well. Massage frees those veins in the limbs that are so worked up for your having to walk miles and miles just so to save on transportation fares. Massage helps you to move your head from left to right and back without experiencing pain and so you can easily look left and right when crossing the polluted streets of MetroManila.

Above all these, political dancing is without comparison to all other dances. It has been used by many politicians over time. Marcos did his, jumping from one party to another just so he could clinch the presidential candidacy, and so successful was he that he ruled this country for 14 years challenged poorly by other candidates, some of whom he put up himself just so to project the image of our country's having democracy.

Of course, political dancing is now being used more regularly, and has acquired a kind of "normalcy" and acceptance, as a way of being in the limelight. Come to think of it, is it really hard to get out of politics?

We ought to create a dance for getting out of politics. I am sure that would be a hit, especially when the unwanted Malacanang tenant does it together with her cohorts-assLLLLL.

MY ENTREPRENEUR' S CREDO" I do not choose to be a common man,
It is my right to be uncommon… if I can,
I seek opportunity … not security.

I do not wish to be a kept citizen, humbled
And dulled by having the state look after me
I want to take calculated risks;

to dream and to build,
to fail and to succeed.

I refuse to barter incentive for a dole;

I prefer the challenges of life
to the guaranteed existence;
the thrill of fulfillment to the stale calm of Utopia.

I will not trade freedom for beneficence
nor my dignity for a handout.

I will never cower before any master
nor bend to any threat.

It is my heritage to stand erect.
Proud and unafraid; to think and act for myself,

To enjoy the benefit of my creations
And face the world boldly and say"

This, with God's help, I have done,

All this is what it means to be an ENTREPRENEUR. "

ERNIE DELFIN

TRANSLATION INTO PILIPINO:

HINDI KO PINILING MAGING PANGKARANIWAN
KARAPATAN KONG MAGING KAKAIBA...
KUNG KAYA KONG
HANAPIN ANG PAGKAKATAON, HINDI ANG SEGURIDAD

HINDI KO GUSTONG MAGING MAMAMAYANG
NAKATANGHOD SA ESTADO PARA PANGALAGAAN AKO.
GUSTO KONG MAKIPAGSAPALARAN
MANGARAP, AT PAGTAYO, MAGKAMALI, MAGTAGUMPAY.

HINDI KO IPAGPAPALIT ANG PABUYA
PARA SA ISANG LIMOS
HIGIT NA GUSTO KO ANG MGA HAMON NG BUHAY
PATUNGO SA ISANG PAMUMUHAY NA MAY KASIGURUHAN,
MAY KASAYAHAN SA PAGKAKAMIT NG MITHIIN
HIGIT SA WALANG KAGANA-GANANG KATAHIMIKAN NG UTOPIA

HINDI KO IPAGPAPALIT ANG KALAYAAN AT
ANG AKING KARANGALAN
PARA SA TULONG KAWANGGAWA,
KAYLANMAN HINDI AKO YUYUKO SA ISANG AMO
O KAYA'Y LULUHOD SA ANUMANG PAG-AAMBA
NASA LAHI KO ANG TUMAYO NG TUWID
MAY LAYANG MANINDIGAN, AT WALANG TAKOT
NA MAG-ISIP AT KUMILOS PARA SA SARILI
MAGTAMASA NG MGA BENEPISYO NG AKING MGA
NALIKHA AT HARAPIN ANG MUNDO NG BUONG
KATAPANGAN UPANG SABIHING:
SA TULONG NG MAYKAPAL, ITO ANG AKING NAGAWA.
AT ITO ANG IBIG SABIHIN NG PAGIGING ENTREPRENEUR.
COMPLIMENTS OF: ERNIE DELFIN, Entreprenuer- Businessman
Entreprenuer- Businessman
SINALIN SA PILIPINO NI EMMA S. OROZCO

my country right and wrong

I have to title my post this way because there is no escaping the fact that the wrongs in my country, the Philippines, are there no matter how hard we try to escape or solve them. I even think the wrongs are multiplying day by day. No day passes by without a scandal, a scam, an issue cropping up in the papers.

And those people who are guilty of wrongdoing are seen and heard on tv, radio and the print media. So how can we get out of them?

It will take a lifetime or several lifetimes to solve them, that is if we think that way. But my propaganda powers have been clipped very badly by this administration. My last writing slot was in Business World which had moles inside and who made sure that my writings would have wrong grammar, would have wrong tenses. Sometimes chunks of paragraphs would even get lost as I typed my articles for my column, titled Equal Quest.

So now I am reading about self-publishing in a US magazine. And as I am writing this, someone is sweeping in the next house. Would you believe that at 1 am, I could hear that also, to make sure that every movement of mine is being watched. Wow, and who deserves to be relegated to the dustbins of history? Eh?

My country right and wrong: beautiful scenery like the sunset at Manila Bay, never mind that monstrosity, the Ocean Park with atrocious prices. This was built by the former mayor, Atienza, and which covered a good view of the sunset. The promenaders, mostly urban poor, would go there to exercise in the morning or just plainly go there to breathe sea air, which sometimes stinks rather than cleanses your lungs, and wander at the beauty created by the Almighty.

Well, the Almighty is the pen of that local politician who was able to destroy the view.

My country right: Beautiful people. Ride a bus. Once you say stop, and the driver still continues, everyone tells him to stop. You see, there is collective camaraderie inside the bus. Or ride a jeepney and hand over your fare. Everyone catches the coins or paper, and hands them over to the driver, as well as the change which goes back to you.

My country wrong: Along the way to Agrifina Circle, from Sta. Mesa, you can see masses of streetsweepers with dark blue shirts and printed on them, propaganda for the unwanted tenant in Malacanang. I asked one how come they are all there: "Dito ho nagdaraan si Ma'am." Maybe "she" likes seeing them, one of the very few scenery that hails her as a "do-gooder."

My country right: All the senators are into an investigation of a scam.

Endless rights and wrongs.

Multiplying postings

I find myself not writing enough this year. It maybe because I am still grieving over the loss of my mother, of my stepfather. More of my mother who was the pillar behind all my political involvements and my writings. She gave me support, if not money, then verbal and emotional support for all the things I had been doing in society while she was till alive, from my engagement with the women and children of Tondo, to my writing in the newspapers and magazines, up to providing for my clothes and even cosmetics at times. She was and is to me my one and only mother, literally and figuratively.



Am I the same with my children? This year, I started receiving help from my children and I hate being in the receiving end. For many, many years since their births, I was independent financially, earning from my films, my writings. But today, I have to seek help, at this time when other people of my age are already retiring from their professions.



But this is more of a challenge for me now, how to be productive and economically profitable at my age, 60. I shall not allow my health to fail, nor my mind to decrease in strength and sharpness. Funny but I am now researching on herbal plants to strengthen the mind, that render bodies more resilient to stress, and stronger to face the elements. Thank God in our midst we have the inventors who never tire of researching for them as well, and in the most scientific manner.



May God bless them all the way, and us, as well.

Creating a Nice Feeling

Sometimes I wonder if it is possible to create a nice feeling just in the mind. But that is not enough, I see. If it is just in the mind, then as soon as we open our eyes, the bad feeling sets in. Or as soon as we open our senses, then such a feeling overwhelms us.

So to have a nice feeling, we should really create an environment that brings about such a nice feeling. For example, when I came back from London and started talking about feminism, the women in my midst saw me as rather odd, as anti-men, and truly off synch from the political situation in the Philippines which was calling for the booting out of martial law. So I had to tell them, especially those in the academe, the intellectuals steeped in political involvement from the grassroots to the different government bureaucracies that no progress can be met without women's involvement. Hence women must be liberated from those obstacles that are barring them from full political participation.

Another time, as I was feeling asthmatic, I saw people smoking inside air-conditioned rooms, inside jeepneys and buses, air-con and non-air-con, and even inside some theatres. I felt like dying right there and then. My reaction was to tell off the smokers, to call the attention of drivers, or whoever was in charge of that particular event I was attending. At one time, a man got off the jeep and showed his gun, as if to say, don't tell me what to do because I have a gun. Then he even said, I am a police officer. So I replied, "You are a police officer; therefore you should be a model to other people, a model for respect for civilians." He smiled rather mischievously in reply. Then I also wrote in the papers about the ills of smoking .

Today, we can breathe well, everywhere except, except where public vehicles are running without concern for the need for fresh air. Yes in MetroManila fresh air is a very rare if unavailable commodity, what with diesel- and gasoline-fed engines running around and polluting the air. Yet, this is not the end of the line. electric-driven vehicles will soon be the, THE, vehicles that will crowd the streets.

Still another way of having that nice feeling is surrounding ourselves with nice people, those who think we matter in this world, not necessarily a lover, but rather just a friend or even a stranger who could have those positive feelings for us as a fellow human being. The thing is with regard to friends, we have to cultivate them. With regard to strangers, we need to cultivate our antennae to find out if that person is truly or could be truy sensitive to us.

Sometimes that person could be a foot away from us, or thousands of miles away. How funny, I am able to connect with certain people in this manner, just using invisible antennaes. And they respond in the most appropriate manner. So now sometimes, I ask myself, do I belong to this country or to another as I am able to connect faster with them. Or maybe my mind has read too many books, ideas coming from those places and so I am more attuned to people who think in the same manner and think the same thoughts.

My goodness, human beings are still a marvel to me.

My Family

To many people, the family is the center of their lives. I know a person whose life revolves around her husband and her children. She would work overtime only if her husband would allow her. Another, a jet-flying finance professional internationally, gave up her high-paying job to be a domestic worker in the family home. Still another, childless, has taken on the tasks of caring for her nephews and nieces to goad them to finish their education up to college, and buying all their needs.

I used to make my family the center of my life, that is when I got married. I viewed it as my responsibility to be at home on time, to look after the food that will be cooked per meal, to buy the clothes, etc. But then, my ex- was incarcerated during martial law for political activities and it changed my whole perspectives. I had to take on a good-paying job and then look after my children on a part-time basis. Aside from just having a plain job, I also had to search for a way to get promoted so that I could earn well, like going through training programs that would improve my skills and increase my knowledge. Apart from that, I had to "drink" or "socialize" in order to be in the inner circle of power. Oh how I hated that, simply because I looked at my co-workers then as average, with my friends in the anti-martial law movement as more worthwhile recognizing for their intellect and respecting them for their commitment.

But now under a democratic dispensation, my perspectives have changed again as I look at everyone, regardless of whether they are working for the government or in a non-government organization, or any private entity, with great regard -- that is that they are entitled to respect of their human rights.

And my family, which consists now of my brothers and sisters, my children two of them, a boy and a girl, as well as my distant relatives -- I feel kind of connected with them in a different way. It is both a connection by blood, by intellect and by history. We have shared a lot in the past and can't possibly just cut off our ties. Notice how I don't mention my grandchildren.

Fascination

Passion is an overriding feeling that propels me to exist from day to day. I must have passion for writing, for computing, for singing, for dancing, etcetera. I could go on and on. I realize this only now on my first senior year. Last Sunday, the 12th, I told Joy, "I lost my heart for singing. I can't join the choir now. May I take a vacation. " He replied, "Ok lang, kasi artist ka e." But isn't he one?

Earlier, I told one male member who greeted me at the canteen, "O, kumusta ka na?" I replied, "Heto, hindi ko alam may nagdi-diyos-diyosan pala rito. 'You can't enter the church here,'" I said in a booming voice like a patriarch. Come to think of it, even if a member looks very feminine in nice female clothes, yet her thinking and behavior reveal patriarchal elements. And that is really scary.

Now, with so much time in my hands, as I am not thinking of what to sing every Tuesday, Friday, and Sunday, wow I had spent three days a week for singing, I am able to plan how to finish the books which I am producing. At the same time, I am able to focus on the real estate issues which my brother and I are working on so as to be able to pay for this house which my mother had pawned and won handily from the former owner through the Supreme Court. I just pray though that we would be granted enough time to work on it.

But my passion now revolves around the US elections. Every early morning I turn on this computer and read the latest news. How I wish I could view the video as well but this laptop is too, too slow. And I am always worried that my internet card would get finished off by waiting, which may now open the page at all, you see.

So Folks, passion is a nice feeling as it keeps me awake and alert to fulfilling my talents, desires and whatever. Happy hunting!

After all is said and done

How broad the internet could be. Imagine I could go and read about the US elections going on whether it is in LA or New York. Truly the internet is the best invention of humanity, linking all of us up to know, interpret events that matter to earth and to all of us.

I am able to read about the exercise of that right to vote, the difficult efforts of the Democrats in instilling the need to have a new government, away from warmongers and warhawks who make the work so insecure.

So I am able to read also about the perils of freedom-- freedom that kills individual initiatives to create and be part of a humane society. So democracy is not all bed of roses. It is a constant struggle to know what is best for the majority of the people so that a minority will not be able to ram down our throats those practices that would make them dominate the world.

Where will these all take us? When US is able to pick its president, for good or bad, where will it take the Philippines? We have not really studied our own independence where politics is concerned. We have been tailists, tailing American this way and that. But I think now, our own little voices count, we are being heard as our needs are being told and planned for change.

After the elections, we will check what the Filipino Americans did to bring about a new administration, what they hoped for would be achieved, and what they had done to continue or to close down the mistakes of the past. Also, we need to ask, up to what extent did they participate in the elections to bring about better policies of treating the Filipino people.

US affects Philippine election campaigns

I watch almost everyday the happenings in the US elections to learn how a democratic election, is supposed to be. Every early morning I tune in through the internet on the latest issues confronting the presidential candidates, and scantily their veeps.

What i find is rather revealing of the deep roots of democracy in the US. The issues are really dissected objectively and subjectively, as they are expounded on by the candidates. Questions like, do they treat cursorily or broadly, with sarcasm or wit, etc. The debates are also delved into with great depth -- what is the score of this candidate among which section of the population? Even bar habitues are covered for their answers.

Funds are also tackled to see who is ethically spending the money and for what ads. Are the ads racist, non-racist, and to whom do they appeal? Even jokes that use celebrities parodying the candidates are presented as part of that colorful side of the elections.

What all these show is that assuming a public position is not an easy task for the ordinary folks. The US elections have gone a long way from just being able to point to one picture or one name as the one prefers to lead him or her through four or six years. Rather they are long, tedious and undertakings with complicated processes that perhaps only an elite with plenty of funds can really undertake. For every step along the way, the costs are high --

hiring a fund-raising savvy staff,
hiring an advertising consultant,
hiring a speech writer, -- this one I really do not favour. I do think that politicians should be able to talk from their heads and not through the heads of other people. They may not be able to articulate much their ideas but still that is their duty, to learn how to communicate them in the best possible way -- not only through words but through drawings, paintings, etc.

And this is where I would like campaigns to take a different path. A candidate need not just be able to rattle off ideas in gathering support. One should be able to use other means like the arts to present one's ideas. Ah, if only the public could be less demanding.

when blogging becomes a refuge

i just felt like blogging today, after coming from Bacolod City where I had spent my first few years of childhood. It was an idyllic city then, as my family and I lives in a place full of flowering trees and plants which I used to water every morning, with my urine poured into it as fertilizer. afterwards, my brothers and i would sail a small banca at the back of our house, go out through a small containment of water which opens out into the seashore and where we would pick seashells and other ocean habitues like crablets and shrimps. the air was clean and fresh, which probably strengthened our lungs to survive smoking, pollution and emotional stresses.



going with my sister and brother was reliving those years of nature escapes which also deepened our imagination. I remember sitting on a rocking chair in a louvre-type window of our house, and listening to "Malaguena" played on the piano by someone from a house owned by a hacendero or landlord or landlady across ours. In between our houses were bamboo shoots emitting rickety sounds which made me feel being in a fantasy-land full of ghost stories.



but the musical piece stuck in my mind and i bought a score later on for my personal study later on.



Aged 7 or 8 years old then, every four o'clock in the afternoon, I used to play the piano, reaching up to the twilight hours where the sunrays would shine upon the musical sheets like golden hands of God, illuminating the passages for me to continue playing and playing classical music arranged for a child's hands.



my teacher was Eva Llorca then who gave me the rudiments of piano-playing in a very discipline way so that I was able to develop a unique initiative to study music with and without a teacher. yes, because later on, enrolling in one became quite tedious. my last succeeding teacher was not as studious as she was in teaching me. A graduate of chemistry, she ventured in piano teaching rather sloppily and I could sense that by the way she had destroyed the wooden finish of the piano cover with her pencil striking it to beat as I was playing. It was only after my sister had cautioned her that she stopped doing it.



but if she was a real scientist, or even artist, she should have already noticed the ugly scratches of her pencilhead on the cover. also, when i finished the second grade John Thompson, she wrote in blue ballpen my name and then misspelled it. Ugh. for a young mind as mine, it was a great disaster. At that time, i needed to idolize someone nearly perfect especially in terms of spelling the names of their students. Or I guess, Ms. Llorca presented to me a very good image of a really disciplined piano tutor. anyway, until now, i still play the piano, ouido or with a score.

so when I visited 90-year old Mama J. in her house, I played her favorites as well as mine. She came out to greet me in the sala and really felt very much reinvigorated. Then I played "all of me" a song which her husband and the family really loved and sang whenever someone would be in front of the piano. She could still remember the words, too and so she sang with us.

Bacolod is truly a place for artistic inspiration. My own nephew, now a famous painter in the States and here in the country, created his one-man show paintings in the heart of one of the towns. shall I mention his name? others might say I am riding on his popularity. But he is famous for his expressionistic searing style. By the way, he will be home again this Nov or December. Aside from these examples, the Masscara Festival is one testimony to that artistry which the late Ely Santiago started. There ought to be a monument for him, by the way for having institutionalized such a festival.

Then of course, the Showroom of the Association of Negros Producers attest to the varied talents of Negrenses. I wish I were a resident so that I could also participate in the exhibitions. Not exactly because MetroManila is a hard nut to crack in terms of getting popular as an artist, but rather as a way of feeling collectively connected with our roots.

rest

I never thought that a five-day rest from MetroManila could bring a reinvigorated feeling within me. it is not something that is easily acquired here. it is something sought after all. you see, harassment comes in various forms in our country -- starting from hits at age, to hits at dark skin, hits at being single and without a boyfriend, to being called smelly and dirty. despite the developments of technology, there are really forces that cannot accept contrary opinions, all in the name of money and power.

how i pray and hope that this administration would wither away quickly and give us a new breathing space with which to exercise our humanity. the thing is, our whole lives are taken up parrying all those harassments, analyzing how we can move institutions to stop them, and afterwards ending up so tired that not an ounce of solution seems directed to their final termination.

money is what strengthens these harassers to continue their operations. i did not know that gloria could be that ingenious to know how to manipulate some people's desire for power and greed.

but anyway, God will provide the final answer.

email eureka

I have just recovered my email address. my goodness it looks like google philippines is not so reliable when it comes to protecting our passwords. it has been infiltrated by bugs.

anyway, am i glad to be back in circulation. but sometimes i get email fatigue, a dis-ease that makes us distance ourselves from reading kilometric sentences that point nowhere. at bacolod city, i was able to read emails, uninterrrupted and with speed during the first two days. on the third day, bugs set in, slowing down operations. and on my last day, i could no longer open my emails.

the world has to find a way of correcting this intellectual aberration of other people destroying communication, and on top of that, invading privacies. i think this is a subtle form, a development from the SSS operations during Hitler's regime. it strikes at the root of people's consciousness which makes them vulnerable to blind obedience to unseen forces, and to mute acquiescence to all types of mental manipulation.

there has to be an end to evil in this world

Less Harassed

I thinkthat the establishment here in this country is getting less paranoid. I am less harassed now, or was yesterday a lie low time for them? I carried a small placard which had the caption: SA ILALIM NG M. LAW, ANG TAUMBAYAN WALANG SARILING PAG-IISIP AT WALANG OPINYON. Many women passengers on board the MRT were reading it but their faces were bland, no reaction. Are the Filipino people immune, callous, desensitized to activism already? The extent of harassment and government reaction to critical thinking has taken a toll on the people's political standpoint.

Or is it the media? Have the media not allowed the people to voice out their grievances, so much so that the people are always waiting for them now to take up the issues and speak for them? There should always be space for assessing how powerful media could be in terms of speaking about issues but not always speaking for the people?

Or is it possible that the people are mesmerized by the kind of officials we have -- who all come from the elite, affluent and speaking English all the time?

Amid all these, on the other side of the globe, the American people are in preparation to decide who will lead them next January 2009 up.

It must be very exciting for them. But I wonder, how honest their elections would be. One US official was asked here how elections had been after bush was declared winner. and he said, "We Americans learn from your elections," and he was talking about the counting in Florida.

Really now!

---Yesterday, I went to Makati to get my loyalty reward phone from Globe and to get my celfone fixed. The guy there said that it would be sent to my son's place. When I told him that I had talked already to the Globe in Quezon Ave, and they told me that I could just come today, 21st of Septmber and get the unit. He viewed his computer and then said that all I have to do is call up the hotline, 7301000.

Bureaucrat!

-----------
I finished my Supreme Court Memofor Reconsideration, detailing my stint at the Inquirer from 89 to 91, why I should have been regularized for working as a regular columnist weekly for almost three years earning a pittance of 300 pesos per article.

In it, I delved into historical and theoretical issues about communication. How a big newspaper like the Inquirer could take advantage of idealistic writers (hint, like me) and pay me a patsy amount just because it could hire writers, make them submit articles and pretend that no employer-employee exists.

Having fun

Sun May 18, 2008 4:38 pm (PDT)
Folks lets have a bit of relaxation. Take this quiz and see if you are astaunch democrat or anti-democrat:



1. To strengthen PPP we need to do one of the following:

a. Let every member drink Milo;

b. Offer malunggay leaves to everyone;

c. Impose the reading of the works of Marx, Lenin, Mao Ze Dong books;

d. Stop talking about PPP and help the Republicans of USA win elections;

e. Make all the members of PPP come home and recruit members in theHomeland.

f. Raise funds to support recruitment by selling fans containing the logoPPP and the caption: "PPP, Juday's Party! Support Us!"



2. To solve the country's problems, do which one?

a. Have a snap presidential election;

b. Go to Boracay and have a lazy weekend;

c. Build a monument for all the heroes in front of DPWH, the most corruptdepartment;

d. Meet with all the bank hold-uppers and tell them to point their gunsat all corrupt officials;

e. Sing Lupang Hinirang in front of every government office, and have abanner: "Oy, pera namin yan. Walang kurakutan!"

f. Have a signature campaign and make GMA remove herself from Malacanang.



3. To solve the war in Iraq, what do we do?

a. Sign peace all over Washington D.C.

b. Sign peace all around UN premises in NYC.

c. Draw pictures of Muslim women and children at every bus stop

d. Put up statistics of the number of Filipinos killed in Middle East wars.

e. Put up statistics of the number of soldiers killed, by nationality in theIraqui war;f. Draw the face of Bush praying for Sadam Hussein's soul

internet writing

using the internet outside the home is a great burden. Many always have their radios blaring or their cps tuned in to the music spot. i always have to ask the counter person to tone it down. next, users almost always have friends around them when they play computer games. well u see Filipinos are happiest when with their friends and or relatives. you can imagine the raucous talking that occurs. Then, maintenance of the keyboards is not being properly followed. This one for example, the cursor runs a few inches away now and then. Another time, the tab enter kept getting depressed so that I could not encode anything. The worst is of course when I can't even open my email. Today, my email was shut down. Then I searched for my blog. Luckily I got through that one. now i am able to write my blog. but sorry, the typographical errors are aplenty. I have no more time to check.

Oh, the worst of the worst was this internet cafe by Aurora Boulevard, the Gameline internet. As i was writing my email, the owner shut it down because he said my time was up, without any reminder at all. so i complained and said that internet business is not only "kabig" or getting money, he got so mad. now our battle is up at the barangay for his rudeness.

Hay Folks, life in the Philippines is full of trials and travails. So long.

Wait and see

I am not located in a hospitable environment right now. Machismo is falling all over the place and I am feeling so creepy that after all these years, I would still find fellows who think that the world revolves around them and that everyone will bow down to them.

One guy I know had a terrible relationship with a woman whom he ordered around to be his caregiver while he was having problems of making his gf stay with him in the house. When the girl did, he made the woman their maid. Imagine, aftrer being a caregiver, she became a servant, literally to the couple. I am glad that she has moved out of the house to get her bearings again.

I don't have to tell you about the other guy. But there are also hidden guys trying to manipulate my life, peering into everything I do so that my personal life has been so affected that I refuse to look at anyone. Surprisingly, the guys I find most likeable have effeminate qualities but are not gay. The balance of yin and yang in their personhood is very engaging. So while talking to them, I find myself not feeling intimidated, and that I could easily reveal what I feel to them.

In the midst of all the convoluted political situation we are in, I take note of every opposite sex I meet to find out how they are reacting. Some meet them head on. Others avoid the situation, clam up, and let others do the talking. But later on, some of them do stand up.

Wait and see. Wait and see is the best policy.

Losing Friends

As I am now a freelance writer, I find keeping friends very difficult to do. I have to exert extra effort to see, talk and be with them for a cup of tea. But it is always a great experience once I am able to connect with them. E. has been myf riend since the 80's. We met at Nairobi, where she was photographing many Filipino women, one of whom was Carlita Doran, the inventress. The latter was putting up her inventions on a small hill and showcasing her solid alcogas which is used for lighting up fondue. Today, Carlita is exporting many of her inventions and is living a fine life.

E and I bcame deeper friends as she became my editor for many articles of mine which I wrote for an Asian news syndicate. Unfortunately, as contributor, I never received any other benefits after writing for so many years, except the fees per article. Yet, my writings were farmed out in the regional newspapers. Worse yet, a leading newspaper in the Philippines would even delete my name and just publish the article without any byline, just the name of the syndicate, a case of jealousy of the editor-in-chief I guess. Another friend D., told me that the ed was jealous of me because my writings were popularly read. Anyway, I was not asking for popularity, never at all until now. To me writing is a duty, an obligation. I prefer being known as a filmmaker, not as a writer.

E and I are still friends and she has retired as a writer, or probably does some other editing stuff now and then. We have tea or coffee in Makati now and then just to update ourselves of our lives.

Another friend was D, also a writer. I had tea with him once. When it was my turn to treat him, he was either too busy, sick, or I was already out of the environment he was in. Anyway, we kept in touch through text messaging. Talking with him is being intellectually stuffy. And I got to write an article well because of his inputs, as the article landed on the front pages of a newspaper. But you know what? His last text to me was very bad. So I did not answer it. He wrote something about being frigid. What? Just because I would not sleep with him or maybe I was too unreceptive to his overtures, then he would hint at my being frigid?

Well, I just kept silent because as far as I am concerned, sexuality is a personal matter and that being intimate with a person is not a fastfood type of activity. Ha ha! Goodness, here in the Philippines, sometimes I seem to get the message that for me to be able to get a favor, I have to come with the package. Yikes! Anyway, I lost D as a fiend already, oops, friend. I don't really fancy dealing with people who are using their writings for hitting at their friends, underhandedly. He should just have come up front and told me what he wants. And maybe I would have said...No, thanks.

Well, another friend I had or probably still has is L. He is a corporate guy, who is very cool. But his world is very narrow and I think he wants me to revolve around his work environment. Now as I am in the middle of helping put up a political party, I don't really find it practical to be involved in his milieu, although the work would be very easy to do. I think I lost him partially because of my refusal.

He is nice and he reminds me of a friend I had in London, very prim and proper, and who is calculating of his moves, but terribly, terribly busy, as in BUSY. But actually, it was just a ruse. He did not fancy being over friendly with someone who would leave his country later on.

Well, friends are nice at particular periods of one's life. They perk up the dull periods, and inspire you to live from day to day. I guess I have to know first what I want in a friend, before I take on another one.

What do you think? I will dream on that.

Being Creative

Creating a political party is very engaging. all that I do is get in touch with people, talk and talk, then review what we talked about, jot down notes, plan for next moves.

It's far different from creating a film. With filmmaking, my mind goes broad, goes deep, rixe to high heavens, and descend to the depths of the ocean. It is mind-blowing. Yet, if I make a political film, then it becomes doubly mind-boggling. I have to think of how to symbolize all those politcial principles that I know.

When living in a country that always makes eating a precious act, that reading and writing seem useless because one has to earn a living in order to eat, that makes having children a very expensive preoccupation, then being creative becomes a real luxury. It is a luxury when it is not directed to authorities who could change the status quo. It is a luxury when the content and form are not understandable as expressions of angst, of anger, of pain and disgust over the state of things.

Could anyone sustain one's idealism in the face of these events occurring now in my country, the long queues of families for rice at barangay halls; the despairing looks of jeepney drivers who can hardly buy fuel to drive their vehicles while having to shell out cash to policemen just standing by and waiting for the kotong to be placed on their palms by their gofers; the media barrage of scandals unearthed daily running into hundreds of millions of pesos going into the pockets of highest officials of the land. Is there no end to these evil acts in our midst? And worse that, the military soldiers who rebelled against election cheating are meted harsh punishments.

Pray that executive privilege is given a negative rating by Supreme Court justices as no unethical presidential and governmental practices should ever be allowed exist in the country.

No, we should not lose our dreams of a better country, a better world. We should not lose our dreams of having a nurturing society. We at PPP will have our slogan: If we rule this country, no infant, no child shall get sick, go hungry, be out of school, and most of all die. No, no one.

Escape through French

I am so glad to have found my blog again. I miss writing on it for months. My mind has been shifting from life on earth and the afterlife where my mother has gone, and my stepfather too. It's emotionally draining and sometimes or most of the time I have to contain myself so as not to feel depressed the whole day.

What is the importance of blogging in my country the Philippiens? It is a space for release of our angst over rising prices of rice, over kotongan of police from Recto to Divisoria; celfone calls that drop or get cut off because the person I am calling up is a community leader in Smokey Mountain, and that would mean a "subversive" activity, etc. etc.

Is there a perfect country Folks? It is true people say everywhere there are problems. So what do I do now? I am learning how to speak and write French by myself. I've got three books -- one for lessons; another for verb conjugation and third, a dic. wow, every morning and before retiring I look them up. I have even written some quotations for me to remember and read while lying on my bed like Comment da nouveau or what's new, and Quel dommage or what a pity. Do you know that i could also compose a sentence like Je ne vous saime. Now guess what that means. Of course you must have heard of that cuss word which begins with M, which I use for asking a friend in absencia, Combien epause? Une, deux, trois, quatre, MMMMMM.

When I go to my French lessons, I cannot help but remember the Fall of Bastille. Memories of my trip to Paris, France way back in 1981 come rushing, when I spent the 14th of July there. On that day, I wanted to drink a bottle of beer in a restaurant fronting the sculpture of the Bastille in the city. But a bottle cost more if drank there about 14 francs, whereas drank outside it would only cost 9 francs. What did I do? Guess. Well I bought one and then sat by a bench beside the sculpture and drank it to my heart's content, remembering Victor Hugo's Les Miserables and the Jean Paul Marat in the Persecution and Assassination of Jean Paul Marat as performed by the Inmates of Charenton under the Direction of the Marquis de Sade, a play by Peter Brooks. Then I also remembered Claude Debussy and Claire de la Lune and La Mer.

Images of Jean Cocteau, Jean Genet and Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir parade in my mind. Feminisme Francaise. How many other intellectuals do I feel happy about remembering?

But as my mind went back to the Philippines then, which was under martial law, the perpetual rule of the Marcoses, I felt depressed again. But did not feel that so much because beer has a way of easing up the nerves. And so I laughed and laughed for my presence then in Europe and having that freedom to experience thinking, speaking and writing freely in the democratic continent, albeit half aristocratic in culture.

Vive Le France! Vive les Philippines!

LIVING IN UNCERTAINTY

The Philippines is becoming one great uncertainty. With the Senate investigations on a national broadband project pushed by Malacanang and its cohorts, corruption entrails are coming out in great deluge from the halls. What is surprising here is that the People's Republic of China is very much involved in the deal, as the provider of the loan that will foot the project. Why is China doing that, dealing with a corrupt administration? No there has to be some kind of ethical stand on dealing with such governments that condone corruption and human rights violations.

Yet the number one witness testifying to the corruption is half-Chinese, half Filipino, Rudy Lozada, whose father always instilled in him the need to be grateful to the country as it had been to him, a father of 13 children. Lozada has explained a great deal of the methods of corruption in the government deals that it is now a great question mark how the Filipino people had been duped up to the highest levels of the State. Even the admonition of the former secretary authorized to approve the deal who got Lozada as consultant was very revealing: "Moderate their Greed."

Actually greed is worse in Pilipino -- swapang, ganid, sugapa. Those are the terms used in the country they are far worse, far apt as a label than greed which sounds very elegant and courteous.

Now the bishops have declared that a communal action in response to the revelations in the Senate be undertaken. This implies that they now are acting in unison in terms of encouraging the flock to go to the streets and express their opinions whether this administration should continue in power or not. Perhaps, the bishops are now realizing that their willy-nilly stance before regarding this administration did not and never brought out a good result as corruption worsened. Sometime in 2005 they were not united, as some bishops received donations from Malacanang to the tune of half a million during the Catholic Bishops Conference. The receiving bishops outnumbered the number of protesting bishops, so the statement that came out then was