Dealing with History

I have always loved historical accounts, both local and international. In fact my love of philosophy stems from knowing how the philosophers had lived and died. I think it is fascinating going to the past, especially now that I am reading the History of Modern France. Sorry but I forgot the author. Anyway, history books give us that feeling of being a part of the events, well of course, that is, if the author is really good in whipping up the readers' interest in the subject.

Some historical accounts like that one of David Fagen, an American black soldier who fought on the side of the Filipino people during the Fil-American war, and of Macario Sakay, the last Filipino hero who fought the Americans during the same period also made me really go through every detail.

I think that good historical accounts somehow break our hearts a bit, as they tell how the dreams of heroes and heroines are not fulfilled. They show us how they had to go through the great difficulties of making people realize how important what they are trying to say is, like Sojourner Truth, who travelled miles and miles and braved deathly situations just to help free slaves. By the way, her speech, "Ain't I a Woman" really gives the the atmosphere of the Convention where she delivered it - must have been full of machos, and machas (women who did not believe in emancipation but would follow men in politics.)

Another thing that history does to me is to make my heart skip a bit, and then I have to turn away, because the wound it has caused has not been healed yet. This is when in that particular period, I was truly involved in its creation, in its processes. Like when I helped start the party for women. A group of women asked me about setting up that party. We worked through the night its principles, mission and vision, you call it. Then suddenly on the day itself, everything changed. They changed the name, and I can't remember the rest. So I walked out and told the women at the register, "why do you work that way? You wasted my time talking with you, only for you to change everything today." and they just stared at me.

Another time, when I participated in the elections of Amnesty International here, I could feel the suffocating feeling -- of people trying to manipulate the processes. My name was put up as a candidate for directorship, but a foreigner questioned something which hit at my organizational links. Nonetheless, the body decided that the question was not allowed to be a hindrance to my candidacy. However, when the counting began, I was shocked to find out that only two people, two women were counting the votes in one corner. There was no transparency at all. And no third party to watch if the counting was being done correctly and honestly. Then one officer approached me later on, "Kilala ka na naman nila. Siguro, next year, baka manalo ka na." For an international organization to act this way, especially an organization that seeks to uphold the political rights of oppressed Third World peoples, was I shocked beyond belief.

The latest was my involvement in an electoral exercise. I see the pictures of the winning candidates that I rooted for and the pictures give me the blues bliss.

That political exercise was quite tiring, what if you will consider that efforts will have an impact on a whole continent. My country is only composed of 7,100++ islands, but that one was a whole continent. Maybe I shall remember that period, for a long, long and nurse good and not so good feelings for a while until such time that I would be able to get to another country, see another culture and speak a different language, not English but possibly French or Vietnamese. Maybe there is something that really perks up a person when he or she meets someone from a highly different culture.

And so, for history to be swallowed without bitterness, to be regarded as a boost to maturing a person, it is good to light candles and pray for peace in this world so that security, that word security will not be bandied about as a cause for war of any kind, whether physical, socio-psychological or emotional and that all political exercises shall become an obligation and a sweet encounter at the same time for like-minded peoples aiming at some ideals.